Sabbatical is over.  I’m back in the game!

So excited to be working again…full-time in the office with all the coolest peeps in the world.  It is no secret that I am a workaholic, so my fix is back.  I have learned a few lessons while I was on sabbatical that I am ready to incoporate into my life now.

• I am called by God to be a husband and father first.  I get one shot with these little girls, their whole lives will be shaped by how I father them.  My family deserves my attention more than an email, phone call, or random thought.
• No more doing what I am not good at.  I know what I am good at and I will pour myself into that when it comes to pastoring and leading.  What I am not good at…I will pray that God shows me someone who is and put that person in charge.
• I need to take ALL my vacation days every year!  Never done it…must do it.  For my own sanity.
• Elevation, though they took a drop in attendance & money while I was gone, is not MINE.  This is Jesus’ church and he will do as he wills.  I will listen, but I will not carry this on my shoulders, I will place it on his.
• Costa Rican coffee is the best.  (Just saying)
• I miss my friends at Elevation.  I miss your encouragement and your passion to live life.
• I am not going to wait until some time in the future to attempt to do the things that God has placed in my heart to do…I’m going after them now, whether you like it or not.
• I placed too much of my worth on the success or failure of Elevation.

Excited to be back…excited to annoy everyone again with my thoughts.  Excited to teach the Bible and live life with some great people.

Trinity’s Statement from Elevation Church on Vimeo.

I’m so proud of Elevation and everything we’ve accomplished together. We have been doing big, amazing things and our efforts have been so successful. I love this job and I love this church. There is nowhere I’d rather be and no other group of people that I’d rather be working with. I’m so appreciative of all of the support you’ve given me. In the process of everything we’ve been doing, I have taken on a lot of responsibilities, because there are so many things I want to be doing and so many valuable things to be done. Everything is going well, but I’m starting to feel a bit overworked and a lot exhausted…and I’m realizing that it’s time for me to ask for your grace while I take a break.

I love you so much and I want to be here and be everything I can for you and do everything I can for you. My heart is here and I know that when I take a break from being here, I’ll miss you instantly, but I want to be sure that I’m taking good care of myself and my family and that I’m setting aside some time to just live in God’s peace and rest. I’m a big advocate of making sure other people take time away from things before they get to the point of being burnt out, but that isn’t advice that I’ve ever been able to apply to myself. This time, I’m going to try to take my own advice and take some time away at the point where I recognize that I need it rather than waiting until it’s long overdue.

I’m really thankful that we have a staff that I’m comfortable entrusting things to in my absence and I’m equally thankful that I have a church that I know loves me enough to allow me to do this…and who, I hope, will miss me while I’m gone! But I’m sure you will not even notice I’m gone and things will actually get done in my absence!

Love all of you so much!

Check out this new video from the Kyle Korver foundation and their seer clothing line. You might recognize the voice.

Seer Clothing

After this posted on the AG national website I had so many texts and emails saying I was a sellout cause I wore a tie.

1-I was asked to not wear jeans.
2-I knew my audience.
3-I look good…

enjoy…

Here is the video that we played on Sunday at Elevation.  This has got to be one of our funniest in a long time.

Heading to the Doc’s office again.

They are following up on my medication that they are giving me.

There are a few side effects, not that you really want to know what they are…but I’ll get to talk to them about those today.

I’ve been super sick this week, probably the sickest I’ve been in the last year or so, good timing for the doctor’s office as they can take care of that as well while I’m there.

I think I’ll treat myself to a Jamba Juice after I get out of the doctor’s office or go grab Starbucks, both are tops in my book.

If I have anyone left that checks my blog then you will know that I have been gone for sometime.

Yep.  A few months.

Let be as transparent as I have ever been with you that might read this, hopefully my family & friends from Elevation.

Last September, I could feel the “darkness of my soul” creeping out of me.  I don’t know how to describe it other than being very lonely.  That September was a busy travel month for me and I was only home for 11 days.  Everything I didn’t want to be, I could feel it bubbling in me in a way that scared me and made me realize something wasn’t right.

I stopped booking events for the rest of the year and finished off what I had on my calendar, bringing a travel companion with me to each event after that.

During Thanksgiving, my family and I took a much needed vacation to the mountains of Colorado.  There I was able to rip open my heart and bare it to my wife.  She is such a great woman and she was able to listen, talk to me, and we made commitments to each other as we walked forward in our marriage.

Let me say this – our marriage is awesome.  I mean awesome.  It has always been good, but we are connecting at levels I didn’t even know existed for two people to connect on.

December came and at the end of December depression hit me in the face hard.

BAM!

I have been open about this in the past, but every so often, maybe once every two to three months I would have one/two days that depression would get to me.  I would wait it out and nothing more… but this time.  One day, lead to two days, lead to a week, lead to two weeks.

All that “darkness of my soul” stuff was creeping in like a fog that wouldn’t lift.

I prayed, prayed, prayed…

I was unmotivated, wanted to just sleep all day, just wanted to quit everything.

Through counsel from a Godly man at Elevation, I headed to the doctor.  Where they drew blood, lots of it, and conducted all their tests.  My Doctor is also a Godly man and helped me work through everything.

Where we are now:

On medication now, feeling great!  Marriage is awesome!  Motivation is back.  Life with God feels amazing!

I don’t want to be the guy who fails, the guy who burns out, the guy who quits out of exhaustion… I want to finish strong, taking the time to heal, get healthy, and come back strong.