Here is the video that we played on Sunday at Elevation.  This has got to be one of our funniest in a long time.

Heading to the Doc’s office again.

They are following up on my medication that they are giving me.

There are a few side effects, not that you really want to know what they are…but I’ll get to talk to them about those today.

I’ve been super sick this week, probably the sickest I’ve been in the last year or so, good timing for the doctor’s office as they can take care of that as well while I’m there.

I think I’ll treat myself to a Jamba Juice after I get out of the doctor’s office or go grab Starbucks, both are tops in my book.

If I have anyone left that checks my blog then you will know that I have been gone for sometime.

Yep.  A few months.

Let be as transparent as I have ever been with you that might read this, hopefully my family & friends from Elevation.

Last September, I could feel the “darkness of my soul” creeping out of me.  I don’t know how to describe it other than being very lonely.  That September was a busy travel month for me and I was only home for 11 days.  Everything I didn’t want to be, I could feel it bubbling in me in a way that scared me and made me realize something wasn’t right.

I stopped booking events for the rest of the year and finished off what I had on my calendar, bringing a travel companion with me to each event after that.

During Thanksgiving, my family and I took a much needed vacation to the mountains of Colorado.  There I was able to rip open my heart and bare it to my wife.  She is such a great woman and she was able to listen, talk to me, and we made commitments to each other as we walked forward in our marriage.

Let me say this – our marriage is awesome.  I mean awesome.  It has always been good, but we are connecting at levels I didn’t even know existed for two people to connect on.

December came and at the end of December depression hit me in the face hard.

BAM!

I have been open about this in the past, but every so often, maybe once every two to three months I would have one/two days that depression would get to me.  I would wait it out and nothing more… but this time.  One day, lead to two days, lead to a week, lead to two weeks.

All that “darkness of my soul” stuff was creeping in like a fog that wouldn’t lift.

I prayed, prayed, prayed…

I was unmotivated, wanted to just sleep all day, just wanted to quit everything.

Through counsel from a Godly man at Elevation, I headed to the doctor.  Where they drew blood, lots of it, and conducted all their tests.  My Doctor is also a Godly man and helped me work through everything.

Where we are now:

On medication now, feeling great!  Marriage is awesome!  Motivation is back.  Life with God feels amazing!

I don’t want to be the guy who fails, the guy who burns out, the guy who quits out of exhaustion… I want to finish strong, taking the time to heal, get healthy, and come back strong.